As moms, we often find ourselves apologizing to our kids, our families, and our friends when we fall short of perfection. When I look at the amazing moms (and women in general) in my life, I see something that goes beyond perfection – true, raw beauty that shines from the inside out.
Whether it’s the way you love your children, the way you support your friends through thick and thin, your amazing talents, or simply the fact that you are a wonderful person, or the times that you make me laugh so hard that I almost pee my pants, you are perfect to me! Without further ado, here is a list of don’ts for my mom friends:
1. Don’t apologize for being late.
I am so excited to get out of the house when we meet for a play date or a rare mom’s night out. I am grateful to spend any amount of time with you, so please don’t rush for me or feel bad about being late. We all know how long it takes to get out of the house when we have kids. If it’s not a diaper blow out right as you’re walking out the door, it might be a missing favorite shoe, a bad hair day, or a last minute meltdown. Not to mention gathering up all the kids stuff and the kids themselves and getting into the car. Chances are, I’m late too!
2. Don’t apologize about the way you look.
Whether you’re in glorified pajamas (my standard dress for school drop off), yoga pants, or dressed to the nines, I always think you look beautiful. Whether you decided to put on makeup, or are au natural, have your hair in a pony or just got your hair done, your nails are painted or chipping to pieces. I love you just the way you are and I think you are always beautiful.
3. Don’t ever feel bad if time has passed since we’ve seen each other.
The thing about true friends is that time can pass and when you see each other again, it’s as if no time has passed at all. I cherish every moment, whether frequent or not-so-often, long or fleeting that I share with you. I know that is super cheesy, but it’s true. So please don’t worry if we haven’t spoken for a while or if things have just been chaotic lately, I’ll be here when the storm settles (and during the storm if you need me).
4. Don’t clean up for me.
When I come to your house, I am there to spend time with you, get the kids together, and most of all to chat and have fun. If the house is crazy, I will smile and see all the life and fun that is happening there. If you do happen to be one of those friends who seemingly effortlessly keeps their house clean, I will appreciate your talents as well! We are all different in what keeps us sane as parents. I know I have moments where I can relax into the mess and other times where I whip through the house like a whirling dervish to clean up. I have learned that the last thing I should do is feel guilty if picking up or cleaning the house doesn’t happen that day.
5. Don’t ever be afraid to share your truth with me.
As moms and as people there are times when the truth is gritty and unpleasant. I am here for my friends no matter what and I am honored when you choose to share your struggles with me or you let me share mine with you. It allows us to feel like we are all in this together.
6. Don’t ever tell yourself you aren’t a wonderful mom if you make a mistake.
With so many parenting moments throughout the day, we are bound to make mistakes here and there. This is what makes us human and this is what helps us grow as humans as we navigate a life with kids. The mistake that seemed huge to you is like a tiny particle of sand on a beach full of the wonderful things you’ve done as a parent today.
7. Don’t worry about canceling plans.
With kids, you never know what will happen from hour to hour, let alone day to day. Curve balls and kids seem to go hand in hand. If you have to cancel our plans to maintain your sanity that day, do it! I’ve probably done it to you before and I will admire you for setting limits for yourself.
8. Don’t ever look in the mirror without admiring your unique beauty.
You are beautiful, no ‘ifs’, ‘ands’, or ‘butts’ about it!! I know how easy it is to criticize our appearance after we have kids, because let’s face it, our bodies will never be the same. When I see a fellow mom, I see a giver of life and there is nothing more beautiful than that! When you look in the mirror, appreciate all of your uniqueness and beauty.
One more thing…
The next time I do any of these things, remind me to take my own advice. Sometimes we all need a reminder to value and treat ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.
I am so grateful to have the most amazing friends (not just my mom-friends) and I don’t know what I’d do without all of your wisdom and beauty in my life!